The Bunnington Post

Category: Haas

  • Finished the grass…

    Weakling grass! Grows too slow for celebuns living in the fast lane. Gimme hay any day!

  • The TMF Munch Scale

    Our roving reporter, Mitzi, has sent in some pre-approved treats for us to enjoy. She sent us the following report: The contents of this bag are a mix of biscuits of varying shapes and flavours, meeting multi-bun preferences and tastes while remaining suitably attractive. Crunchiness and crumbliness both score high on the TMF (TiaMitziFlopsy) Munch…

  • Looting gently along

    Yeah. We’re ‘ere abaht da lootin’? Ah didn’ ge’ da messages ‘n stuff cos me iFone was hacked so Ah’ve given up on mobiles, really. Wen is da lootin’ startin’? An’ Ah forgo’ me broom an’ dus’pan, is dat a problem or can Ah ‘ire sum fer da wife ‘n mesel’? Jus’ don’ like bein’…

  • Stuck!

    Ouch!! Pe’al, gizza gen’le shove up da backside, dere’s a good fluffbum, Ah fink me tail’s stuck in da bars once again.

  • Haas on Hare

    Dear Inma’s Vintage Jot Pierce majestic Capt’n sir, Ah got ter give i’ to yer waitress, good finkin’, buyin’ you a practise ‘are. Obvs you are still missin’ an ‘xepshiun’lly importan’ poin’: Do not bury da ‘are Ah repeat: DO NOT BURY DA ‘ARE ‘ares are clausterfobes yeah, an’ dey ‘ave dis diserbilli’y which keeps…

  • Dear Editor: Inma’s Vintage Jot Pierce

    Dear Haas, Thanks for your advice. I set out to take care of all the proper arrangements for a romantic tête-a-tête with Hare without delay. No time to waste. What do you think? Will this meet Hare’s expectations? It has a certain homely feel, don’t you think? I understand crow’s nests are usually located in…

  • Haas Consultancy Ltd

    Orrite Jot, Fanks fer ge’in’ in touch. I ‘ave received yer le’er wiv in’erest. It seems yew ‘ave quite a problem ter deal wiv, let me give yew some expert advice. Yeah, Ah’d say yer da whiffy, ‘airy type, but Ah can tell yer also da frien’ly sort. Ah finks da problem’s no’ you, i’s…

  • Clear the airwaves

    Yes, so I’m barely off the phone to a bawling James fearing for his inheritance and it’s Rupert phoning for a whine and a sob. So I said, Rupe my dear, you can phone me anytime for a chat but you have to know that your peeps have hacked Haas’s iPhone so efficiently the device…

  • Phone Hacking

    Dis ‘ere is me gorgeous wife, rite. Ah know she needs pretectin’ cos of ‘er voicemail bein’ ‘acked into by some eejit NoW journo an’ she’s ben very upse’ abaht it all. If it wazzen’ fer da fone ‘ackin’ biz no-one would know abaht ‘er mane problems, ‘er spats with Delores and ‘er eatin’ disorder.…

  • Weighty news

    Oh, evil day! Once again we were dragged off to the vet’s on a perfectly good play-outside-all-day day to be prodded and poked, and our right to dignity violated as usual. It’s amazing what these people get away with under the pretext of looking out for our health. So. We are pleased to report to…