Oh, evil day! Once again we were dragged off to the vet’s on a perfectly good play-outside-all-day day to be prodded and poked, and our right to dignity violated as usual. It’s amazing what these people get away with under the pretext of looking out for our health.
So. We are pleased to report to our shareholders that we have all been declared to be exceedingly healthly, with sharp teeth, clean bums (don’t ask), our innards performing well within the parameters of the Service Level Agreement, clean ears, eyes and noses, and of a healthy weight.
Yes indeed, dear fans, our combined weight is impressive. My dear, dear Bink is slightly on the light side at the moment at only 1.67kg, but then, he has always been my darling little pocket rocket, yes he has, hasn’t he, my diddy little bundle of fluff… Snorgle
I, on the other hand have demonstrated commitment to the bottae and have weighed in at a consistent 4.18kg for as long as memory serves. Maintaining my impressive weight is a combination of eating hay, running around, eating hay, getting dressed, eating hay and running around.
Haas put down an impressive 2.1kg, which regular readers of the BP will recognise as a cause for celebration. This time last year the poor mite was a scrawny 1.5kg, and looking positively disheveled as a result.
Katrijn meanwhile is pushing for that magic 4kg barrier but isn’t quite there yet – she comes in at 3.5kg at the moment. The vet was most impressed with that as she has little fat, but an exceptionally muscular back. Naturally I am soothed by the news I have nothing to fear from Katrijn in the lard stakes.
Well, I’m only 1.29 kg. What does that mean?
Delores says: clearly this is evidence that your waitress is not meeting the required standards. Send her to the shops to buy more treats for you. Either that or you’re simply a dinky breed, of course…
Well, my waitress DOESN’T meet the required standards, but I’ve known that. Unfortunately, I am a dinky breed, and I was the runt too.