The Bunnington Post: Through the Lagomorph Lens
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BAFFLED Labs, Bunstruction Division
Heatwave or no heatwave, I have work to do. 8:30 Rudely awakened by hapless waitress bringing brekkers. Obligatory wiggle-waggle with the ears and tail to amuse her. 9:06 brekkers out of the way, I position myself on my mat at the bottom of the stairs to guard the letterbox. It is also an excellent spot…
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Please form an orderly queue
My dear and loyal followers. When I finally publish my celebun memoir (which will be as soon as Putin has got a grip on his emotional meltdown – can’t say any more: gagging order) I need you all to remain calm and composed. I will be touring the country’s independent bookshops to promote my new…
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Icepods are for girls
Eh bien, if fait chaud, a bit hot today. Fortunately I am in the soothing company of a jar of frozen tikka masala sauce. I prefer sauce hollandaise myself, but you all know what my waitress is like. Waitress! Send my friends an icepod with my compliments. It’s too hot to bother today, Haas… Let…
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Waiter gone AWOL
Katrijn mah fluff goddess, wo’ of da’ wai’er of ahrs? ‘aven” seen ‘im in a week. Feelin’ sli’ely ignored ‘n suchlike, as i’ were. But dear Haas, where have you been? Waiter was detained by the FBI on suspicion of exceeding the maximum limit on intellect allowed by US Immigration. Had to undergo an intelligence…
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Whence the silence?
Yes. Sometimes being a celebun has its downsides. There is no such thing as quietly applying oneself to self-improvement through penning one’s autobiography without the blogosphere noticing and Twitterati speculating. But for those in the know, a self-imposed social media ban to focus on The Arts is a rule every artiste must obey. Absence makes…
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Excusez-moi
Hey babe, what brings you to my garden, hm? First of all, I refer to my colleague, Haas. Second, you will address my waitress as ‘Madame’.
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Dubya’s library
Dubya ‘as opened ‘is priva’e library. All ‘e needs now is sum readin’ specs Ah finks
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Holiday, celebun style
Tia. Flops. Hm? MitziBitzi…? I think I see one. See what? A pap. Behind the fence. Telelens. Just stepped on one of Haas’s perimeter defenses. Snarf! Even the Bunnington Post News Room can be infiltrated it seems…
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Sorry
Waitress: What do you say? Bouffe: I am very sorry. Waitress: about…? Bouffe: I am very sorry about the broken tea light. Waitress: and the tea light is broken because…? Bouffe: The tea light is broken because it fell on the floor Waitress: How did the tea light fall on the floor? Bouffe: because I…
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Marty throws a (podiatry) party
Bouffe my man, yo yo yo! Roll on by my crib homes, I got da cure man, I got da cure! [?] Marty? Marty my friend? How pleasurable to see you! Pleasant, I meant. Are you well? The slang… It’s not, how do I say, how I know you… Oooh Bouffe, do you think it’s…
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