Putin’s nightmare mayor

HaasKatrijnWot

Haas.

Snarf, mah pe’al?

That’s your Skype ringing.

Hm?

Oh bollocks. It’s ‘im. Da Impaler

Better answer that. His heavies will have told him you’re just lounging. No excuse for not answering

Vlad. ORRITE

Sochi. Yeah. Ah’ve ‘eard of it. Ter do wif sports, innit? Erlimpic sumfink or ova.

…!

Wot? Rainbows?

…!?

Gay rites. Wot abaht ’em? Orrite…

…!!

Yer innernashiunal standin’ as a states-wot?

Dunno, is Katrijn yer wan’ fer dis ‘ere stuff, Ah don” do repertashiun managemen’ beyon’ mah own, geddit?

…? …???

Orrite. Man ter man. Fer yer new Feezbook profile picshiur. Wot look are yah afta?

Rite. Da manly-Metro-Presserdenshiul/Russo-European badass look. Beckham meets Bond villain – Ah geddi’.

…?

Nah. Too Lincoln Memorial/Francis Underwood.

…?

1970s porn star minus ‘tache.

An’ Katrijn sez nah. No-one wears fur but us…

Wot are yah finkin’ anyways?! Mah pe’al is mos’ upset at yer insensertiverty.

Nex’, an’ be”a make i’ a good’un dis time!

…?

Ah say: Google Glass. From da Aldi bargain bin.

…?!?

Cliché.

Vlad, if yer don” min’ mah askin’, yeah, wot’s dis abaht? Ah mean, really abaht?

Damage limitashiun. Da mayah of Sochi ‘as said dere are no gay people in Sochi?

Ah see. An’ wot do yer fink of dat?

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