What is this?
It is a manger.
It is not. It is Christmas lunch.
snarf
Where is the special menu I ordered?
Waitress! I want:
An ear plug as a starter.
Then as my main course, I shall have your wellington boots:
And for dessert, bathroom paint.
I am certain it is not too much to ask to have my favourites served to me today. Even the squirrels are feasting!
Waitress! There’s a poo on my cabbage! Ah, there she is, finally. So good of you to make an appearance.
What have we here? A Christmas wreath? Smells like alfalfa.
Not too shabby. Give it here!
Oi!
snarf
Greedy Haas, that’s MY lunch! Move over…
The Bunnington Post 
Spill your beans here – you know you want to!