Yes darlings, as you can see from the incredulous look on my pampered face, we’ve just returned from a mah-vel-lous week in our very exclusive spa resort for some well-earned treats and treatments.
So relaxed was I after a week for top-notch brekkers and dinners, daily massages and above all, a break from the paps that I failed to see my waiting staff arrive to limousine us all home.
I was busy putting on my dress!
Katrijn was ready to go. It was just her luck really that one of her biggest fans had arrived that morning, and kept asking her for her mane secret.
A very sweet fan indeed!
Just like last year Haas turned to mush in the arms of the MD of the spa. By the end of day 1 he was on first name terms with her and virtually jumped into her embrace every time she approached him.
It was a tearful goodbye when we left.
He doesn’t mind me sharing his softer side with you, before you write in about character assassination and all that; he’s a metrogeezerbun and proud of it too.
As for Bouffe, well. Mr Grumpypants missed his central heating and round-the-clock access to the vegetable dispenser, until her realised that he was sitting on it: grass. Then he started chatting up the chickens, who kept the neighbours awake with their raucous clucking at his jokes late at night.
Here he is, ready to go home in his cage – there is no way he is travelling in my limo the way things stand between us. Chatting up chickens indeed… Must try harder, Bouffe, to win this lady’s favour!
Note how the ‘ladies’ in the background are going about their business as usual… Does he look suitably chastised in this pic? Good.
Now then my dears, I am very busy rearranging the straw in my hutch this morning, so I must dash. Missed you too! Mwah-mwah