Dave, ma’e.
If Gorby texts ter say a new Col’ War is on da books, take da man seersly, yeah.
‘e ended da las’ one while you were still tryin’ ter control yer testosterone levels by pullin’ pafe’ic pranks at da Bullin’don Club wif yer measly ma’es.
An’ while we’re on da topic: A cold war is no’ anova photo oppertuni’y ahead o’ da general elecshiuns, orrite?!
An’ get sum readin’ glasses. Ah would jus’ like ter know dat you will in fac’ spot da small print Putin likes ter put in treaties an’ suchlike. Geddit?
Jus’ in case, Ahm takin’ sum precaushiuns mahself. No offence. Fanks.
The Bunnington Post 
Spill your beans here – you know you want to!