Les vacances de Monsieur Bouffe

Eh bien my dear friends,

I’ve kept you waiting, for which I am truly sorry. You see, I’ve been rather busy with my film career and misleading the paps.

So off I went for some quality time with my waiting staff, whom I took with me to Wales to serve me on set while filming Dr Who.

Indeed, being the lead talent in a Dr Who episode being simultaneously broadcast in over 90 countries comes with some unglamourous confidentiality clauses. Hence the radio silence…

Anyway. Never mind David Tennant’s star struck-ness on set leading to him fluffing his lines and needing sixteen retakes for my scene! On to more important matters.

The on set facilities were in line with my status as main attraction of the episode. It was well-suited to the needs of me and my entourage!

I do like Wales I have to say, any country where waiting staff is outnumbered by four-legged grass-chomping creatures is a good one.

This is me chilling on my rug in front of the fire my staff tended for me:

This is me engaging in my favourite passtime, licking my favourite chair.

Unfortunately waitress kept interrupting me and inviting me to sit on the rug instead, which was most vexing:

I also indulged in some topiary chewing while waiting for David to come out of make-up:

I quite like how the chicken has turned out, even if I do say so myself.

Felt a bit peckish after all that labouring in the garden after a long day of filming, so I had some dinner next:

Followed by some more chilling in front of the fire:

If I had one complaint about the on-set facilities it would be that my entourage used my personal boudoir as their kitchen:

But, as a great philosopher once said, every disadvantage has its advantage, and I made do with the close proximity of the fridge which was filled to bursting with the good stuff.

Alors mes enfants, my waitress needs nudging into action (empty food bowl, honestly, you can’t get the staff these days!).

WAITRESS!