I could go up the stairs.
Not allowed
I could jump on the sofa.
Forbidden
I could disconnect the phone.
Deeply unappreciated by waiter and waitress
I could sit on the dining room table.
Frowned upon
I could bunstruct the laundry basket
Upsets waiting staff
I could redecorate the bathroom with loo paper.
Total bathroom ban likely
I hope they appreciate how well behaved I am today
The Bunnington Post 
Bouffe: Ben oui mon cher Spike! Dismissed my desastreux staff and had new waitresses on trial over the weekend.
Had to rehire waiter and waitress (had to pay for a return ticket back to the UK – snarf) after New Waitress 1 quit after just one day over my eating my ceacals straight from my bottom and New Waitress 2 upset me when she didn’t offer to share her Christmas pudding with me.
You just can’t get the staff these days.
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You should see to new waitstaff! -Spike
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