The Bunnington Post: Through the Lagomorph Lens
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Travolta takes lead in Trump biopic
++++ EXCLUSIVE ++++ The Bunnington Post can exclusively reveal that John Travolta is slated to play Donald Trump in a tell-all Trump biopic, working title The art of the Grab. Travolta was seen leaving Dr Katrijn’s offices following counselling sessions to help get into character to play an entrenched misogynist, a narcissistic megalomaniac racist with multiple suspected personality disorders…
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Check your airbags
The US presidential elections are going to be Brexit-style a car crash. No matter which one wins, one half of the population is going to be pitted against the other and be loud about it. There will be bitching and sniping and moaning and whining and accusations and threats and online trolling and I’m tired just…
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Scandal! Betrayal! Infidelity!
A shocking discovery was made when innocently flicking through holiday snaps taken by our staff. Waiter was photographed while snorgling a long-tailed, short-eared wabbit. Furthermore, waitress was seen fraternising with a dog who was not @pawsatthekerb Fletcher. Her feeble excuse? “She followed me around and she was really friendly and happy to see me every day”.…
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A word of warning
So. We have had an unauthorised absence involving not one, but both of our members of staff in recent weeks. Although we had the benefit and pleasure of bossing around Frappe and Latte’s staff for near on two weeks, it is the principle that matters. One does not abandon a lagomorph without due consideration for…
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Regarding immigrants
Much has been said about immigrants in the last months. We have a strong view on the subject of immigrants, and it is about time you all heard what it is. Number 1. Immigrants smell nice. Ours handle a lot of broccoli, kale and other greens, so this is perhaps a given, but nonetheless not…
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Wotcher
Too busy ter talk, orrite We ‘ave stuff goin’ down ‘ere like yer wouldn” believe La’ers
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Letter to 2016
Dear 2016, What is going on with you? It’s only July and we’re bloody exhausted. What are you up to, giving terrorists a platform, allowing despots to rule, letting refugees drown in droves, closing borders and fuelling hate? The stuff you have been dreaming up belongs in the sphere of fantasy, in movie scripts and…
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The fur is flying
Look how I resemble David Cameron’s cabinet. The fur is flying, the teeth and claws are out. Discarded secretaries of state and junior ministers fluff everywhere and a selection of Michael Goves and George Osbornes wet, smelly pieces of shit, trodden into the carpet. I confess, I do love a bit of political drama. Hark! Who darkens my door? Is…
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No-one home
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Overheard at brekkers
Katrijn mah pe’al. Yes, Haas? Ah finks da Brexi’ Paranoia medicashiun ahr waitress is takin’ is workin’, like. Really? How so? She’s smellin’ da roses an’ feedin’ me rose pe’als fer brekkers. That’s nice, dear.
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