Yes, well… I’ve been busy, quoi?

Pff. Stop fretting people, reports of my permanent move to beyond the rainbow are blatantly untrue. This ladybun has simply been too busy to post, and frankly, can you blame me? There’s the whole being fabulous thing, which is as we all know a full-time occupation in itself.

Pulling it off nicely though, am I not? Look at that mane. It costs a lot of time to look this fabulous, you know.

Then there was the 11th birthday to celebrate last April – yes, I am 11 years of age people, and I am not shy about revealing that either.

I was of course treated to a spa day and my favourite treats and all that, but apart from having a few close friends round (no more than 300, I swear, don’t be offended that you didn’t get invited, darling) and a lovely, lovely private concert from the Stones I kept it all very low key.

That cheeky Mick, you’ve gotta watch where he puts his hands tho. Still, he still seems to have all his own teeth and mane like me.

The secret to my longevity?

Eat.

Your.

Greens.

And I mean proper greens – not just the green M&Ms from the bag.

Tsk.

I’m watching you, and I will know when you are not eating your greens.

But enough of the pleasantries.

What in all that’s orange and tastes like carrot is wrong with the world?! Where does a bun even start?

When we have a so-called president proclaiming he is the Chosen One while attempting to buy an entire country that is then, absurdly, forced to explain it isn’t for sale; when with each day that passes without a gun massacre you know deep down it’s probably because the schools are closed for summer in the northern hemisphere; when you have a unelected Prime Minister using parliamentary summer recess to hijack the Brexit agenda and you find him ready to burgle your home…

… when your waitress has taken to reading trashy novels you know it’s bad.

Well, actually, that last one – must cart her off to her GP to have her faculties tested for good measure. Probably won’t be many surprises there.

But where was I? Oh yes.

There is only one thing for it, people. Here’s what I do:

I keep my cool.

It aids with thinking and then giving those that need them the tongue lashings they deserve. This is how we improve the world around us.

Laters, peeps. Dandelions to eliminate.

Spill your beans here - you know you want to!

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