My dear friends,
It has been a crazy summer so far and I have missed you all. You can probably imagine how busy it has been, what with hopeless mental patients such as David, Boris and Theresa on my books, and now the diplomatic-marital crisis of Jeremy H to treat. I have also had an influx of Bregretters to deal with, a very special breed of mental client requiring specific support to help them come to terms with being lied to, manipulated and frankly abused by the Leave camp. Most of those require a digital detox involving the public destruction of the offending devices such as iPads and phones, so they really are a lot of work to get back on the road to recovery.
It has been good to immerse myself in work since dear Haas’s sudden departure, because I do miss him so. My beloved Haas! The greatest geezerbun that ever lived.
May he be gorging himself on unlimited dandelions with Bouffe.
On top of all this grief, my staff had started grumbling and I was forced to take them on holiday.
Now, my waitress is an appalling driver, so you can imagine she needed me to supervise her every lane change and beep all the way to Aberystwyth. As if life isn’t tiresome enough for a hardworking, recently bereaved professor of Bunstructive-Developmental Political Psychiatry. However, I am bigger than the challenge at hand and off we went.
Once there I had to spell everything out to get these two to relax, but in the end they seemed to get the hang of it. You can see the waiter is still getting used to the idea, because he’s still wearing socks and long trousers.
I did it mostly for my staff but I quite liked it myself, I have to admit. There was no phone signal or WiFi so my mental patients couldn’t find me for two whole weeks! To be truthful, it was bliss.
Unfortunately we went home again because all good things must come to an end, although that does not seem to apply to the 2018 heat. My waitress made me slum it in her office on several occasions in the last few weeks.
She said that it was too hot to stay in my own offices under my bespoke cornus sanguinea.
Anyway. Things are still hot around here in more ways than one, but Dr Katrijn is open for business and new patients once again*.
May common sense prevail in our increasingly insane world.
*New patients are accepted at the discretion of Prof. Dr Katrijn PhD. Her decision is final. Dr Katrijn will not enter into correspondence regarding decisions. Nutcases who are too far gone are likely to be referred to law enforcement. Always read the small print. Your mental health is at risk if you do not keep up with independent news sources.