Mrs May gives up

Good afternoon, Professor Katrijn’s Bunstructive-Developmental Clinic for the Democratically Deluded, Politically Preposterous and Celebritially Challenged, how may I direct your call?

I am afraid Dr Katrijn is in an emergency call with another client right now, may I ask her to ring you as soon as she is free?

I see-

Unfortunately I cannot interrupt the doctor when she is attending to one of her clients, least of all when he has phoned in an emergency-

Well no, they are not running the country, although-

Mrs May, please listen. Dr Katrijn has had to explain to you before that your position as PM does not make any difference in how she works with you or any of her other patients. 

You know I cannot divulge who the other patient is.

Mrs May, it is well-known that you have boundary issues. I cannot say either way whether the patient in the emergency call is Jeremy Corbyn.

Or whether they are crying. Yes you clashed in the House of Commons today. Mrs May-

Please stop crying down the phone… I will ask the doctor to ring you as soon as she is free. I am just a receptionist, I don’t know what to do with Prime Ministers who say the opposition leader should stick to his boy jobs and-


Hello? Mrs May, are you there?

[dial tone]

Hah. Bit of a quitter, isn’t she?



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