People. Stop bombarding us with interview requests regarding our work as leading Lagomorph Remoaners and Brexit SabotEUrs. We are a little bit busy influencing thick headed politicians. It’s a dirty job but somebunny’s gotta do it, so here is our manifesto for your copy-past journalistic pleasure.
Brexit is bad for brekkers
We foresee problems with kale supplies and hay harvests. Seasonal workers are abandoning our isle in droves because of the weak pound and changed attitudes towards immigrants. It’s more lucrative for Polish farm hands to pick up work in neighbouring Germany than to bother with a more expensive journey and stay in the other less friendly UK these days.
Plus frankly, with a climate like ours we cannot be picky so here we have reason 1 to cancel Brexit.
Liar, liar, posh pants on fire people caused this mess
Seriously, would any thinking voter want to align oneself with ivory tower types with big business interests sustaining them whatever happens to them personally and who routinely misrepresent facts and spread blatant lies?
Exhibit 1: Nigel Farage stating that people who voted Leave on the basis that the NHS would get £350mln a week did so mistakenly and not because he championed the claim:
Yes, this was The. Morning. After. The. Referendum.
Do not worry about poor Nige voting himself out of a job: he rarely showed up at EU committee meetings and still gets to have an EU pension, of course.
Exhibit 2: Here’s another rich, posh bloke. Boris Johnson, 2013:
Exhibit 3: Theresa May’s U-turn from remain to ‘Brexit is Brexit’
‘Strong and Stable’? My bottae.
Patriotism is pointless and even dangerous
So, ‘vigorously supporting one’s country’ is incompatible with being a supportive member of the international community is it? What is the point of patriotism anyway?
“My country is better than yours?”
How do you measure that in the first place and if you did manage it, what do you then know? How does such knowledge make any difference at all?
Oh, wait – check out the synonyms: nationalism. That explains that. We’ve got great experiences with nationalism over here in Europe, so that will be just fine.
Don’t Brexit, fix it
Nobody needs this mess. Not the people who voted for something they didn’t understand, couldn’t foresee and are now among the most affected.
Not the people who didn’t vote because they didn’t think it mattered. Advisory referendum, remember?
Not the disenfranchised who voted out of fear and who are still no further in dealing with those fears, because promises were made that cannot be kept.
Not our young people who were growing up under the promise of free access to study, work and live in other EU countries and who now see their futures hugely curtailed.
Not the economy, which was showing new signs of life after years of austerity following the global downturn. We don’t have the money for unexpected divorce bills.
Not the international community which is watching in amazement as the UK implodes amid power struggles, indecision, laziness and a misplaced sense of superiority, also known as ‘trying to cover up what an omnishambles we’ve created’.
Solution to Brexit: Be excellent to each other
Look beyond borders, nationality, political systems, economic differences. Underneath we all want the same: fresh dandelions, a reliable kale harvest, a good life and a harmonious co-existence.
Snorgle to be snorgled in return. It’s the lagomorph way.