Professor Katrijn’s office, how may I direct your call?

I am afraid Professor Katrijn is with other patients right now, may I take a message?


Mrs May. I can’t understand you very well if you keep wailing down the phone-

Well maybe wailing isn’t a nice word but you do sound very distressed. I’ll see what I can do if you can hold the line for me?


This is Katrijn, Mrs May?

Umm, I am not that kind of doctor, Mrs May. I do not know how long a Teflon coating lasts on a Tory Minister.

Apologies – two Tory ministers.

Indeed, perhaps you do need to look into your recruitment processes so you can be more rigorous in your appointments in the future.

Mrs May, I am not here to solve your Westminster problems for you as you well know, but to help you make sense of your issues so you learn from them. And if that is not what you are interrupting my patient session for, I can put you back on with my waitress and she will book you an emergency mental health appointment in six months – NHS waiting times and all that, you know how it is.

Good, it appears that we clarified that. Perhaps what you have learned this week is to never put off to tomorrow the Teflon Tory you can sack today.

Now go away and at least pretend to be a leader, I have more important things to do.






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