Dr Katrijn’s office, how may I help?
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Mrs May, please hold. I’ll see if the doctor is available.
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Dr Katrijn speaking. Mrs May?
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Mrs May, please slow down, I can’t make out a thing you are saying. Take a deep breath.
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Yes, you seem to have manoeuvred yourself into a bit of a tight spot. Keep breathing. Slowly.
That’s it. Keep breathing, one breath at a time.
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Boris is doing what?
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Well, I guess he’s wanted to be Prime Minister for a while now hasn’t he. Boys will be boys.
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Jezza. Hmm. You sound surprised. Are you?
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Well, why do you think he pulled off the personal cult thing and you didn’t?
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I don’t know what he’s got that you don’t.
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Young people can be annoying. Who’d have thought they’d vote Labour in droves.
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No, I’m afraid I can’t help you there, but I think David Cameron can probably recommend someone to write it for you. He’s got some experience resigning the morning after a shock defeat himself.
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No time like the present, Mrs May. Goodbye.
The Bunnington Post 