Cardinal Flopsy, close confidant of Pope Francis and driving force behind the recent papal encyclical on climate change, has died after a short illness.
Flopsy, who was also a well-known lagomorph bungineer specialising in earthworks, had been mourning the loss of his two wives, Tia and Mitzi since last year. Although according to his waitress he soldiered on bravely with his duties which included keeping the garden safe from invaders such as unauthorised leaves and Hamzilla, he never recovered the saucy spark he possessed while guarding his spouses.
Flopsy was a well-travelled bun and having spent considerable time in Vatican City, Slovakia, Wales and the North Oxfordshire Moors, he was fluent in Italian, Latin, Slovak, Welsh and curiously, Brum.
He often accompanied his waitress, a consultant bat-fancier, on research trips into abandoned buildings where his extraordinary olfactory ability allowed him to identify bat species by sniffing out droppings and make recommendations for their diet.
Close friend Katrijn paid tribute to the intrepid Flopsy and released a statement on behalf of Haas and Bouffe:
Flopsy was a dear friend who brought sunshine into the lives of those who met him. He was always expertly groomed and developed his own personal formula for fur-conditioner, the recipe of which is now sadly lost forever.
We fondly remember our many chats over the fence discussing the merits of white fur in summer, tunnelling techniques and waitress training. We ask the media for privacy while we grieve during this difficult time.
Beloved Husbun to Tia and Mitzi
International Bigamy Champion
Lagomorph Cardinal and Papal Climate Change Envoy to Slovakia
Honorary Fellow of the Royal Bat Fanciers Society of North Oxfordshire
Much missed by his waiting staff Sarah and Stuart
and all his friends at the Bunnington Post
It’s hard when a Superagent leaves us to fight crime in another dimension. The Bridge will be a safer place with Flopsy around. Leonard and Jeffy send their condolences and, if anyone wants a nose to pat, Leonard’s is always available. Please book an appointment if you wish to pat Jeffy. We all send love xx
Ah yes, Tia and Mitzi could no longer be without him we think. A dutiful husbun indeed, torn between his loyalty to his waitress and his love for his wives. Surely a classic love story in the making!
Binky free little Flopsy! Your bunwives are waiting for you at the Bridge to start tending the ground there, and surely enough you’ll be joined by many other buns already there. After all, everybun likes a good dig.
Condolences to the slaves left behind… Elliot Lou wonders if they will open their doors to other bunnies waiting for their forever home, as it would be such a shame to let such luxurious facilities empty. Typical practical bun, our Elliot Lou…x
Indeed, it would be a huge loss to lagomorph welfare if a fully trained waitress remained bun-less! I do believe she has made noises about fostering. We all love a ‘failed’ foster-waitress, don’t we, Elliot Lou…??