Oooh, you must be wondering why I have been a bit quiet on the reporting front lately. Yesyes, I have certainly received your fanmail asking for more! And no, reports of my retirement from the BP are exaggerated.
Well, I can now reveal all, which is that I have been very busy with my research and thesis in the last few months, and I can proudly report that I am now officially Dr Katrijn Ph.D!
This is what clever looks like:
As you can see, my mane hasn’t suffered one bit under my dedication to science. Indeed, I am proof that you can have it all: brains AND classy looks!
What’s my Ph.D in you want to know? OK, try and keep up… The title of my thesis is:
Pump-Dump-Probe Ultrafast Human Expertology Resolves Cross Section of Early Mental State Immediate and Stimulated Verbal Emissions in Emotional Reactions of the Ground State of the Human Mind.*
That explains it all, doesn’t it? I told you I was very clever.
In fact, I was immediately offered a presigious place at MIT by a very nice professor called Andrej – such a tempting offer – but I turned it down because it does hurricane quite a bit up there in Massachusetts and as you all know, that is a no-no for any ladybun with a mane to maintain. He offered to make it Chicago instead but I was on to that one – it’s nicknamed the Windy City for a reason you know!
Andrej was of course very disappointed but I managed to convince my dear friend, the exceedingly talented Dr Ann to go instead, so I can continue to counsel celebrities and charge a fortune to pay my mane technician. Fame comes with many trappings…
So, for all your niggly little humanoid problems such as the meaning of life and other existentialist questions, come to Dr Katrijn. A little dumping and probing goes a long way to feeling better when it all gets a bit too much!
* Visit your nearest stockist for your personal copy of my 578-page bestseller