Vandals!

Wouldya look a’ da sta’e of me garden…

Vandalism!

If Ah could jus’ find me iFone Ah would ring 999 ter ge’ some ‘elp wif ‘un’in’ down da riff-raff wot ransacked me garden yea, ge’ some dus’in’ done fer prints ‘n suchlike, ge’ some DNA samples off dat crap all ova me flower beds yea, analayse dat yellow snow orrite, an’ ge’ to da bo”om of dis! Wot’s sosaytee comin’ to dem dese days wen a bun can” even keep ‘is own garden free from uninvi’ed visi’ors, know whaddAhmean?!

Cor blimey, bi’ of a crime scene we go’ ‘ere…

Ah finks we can rule ou’ Delores an’ Bink on accoun’ of dem foo’prin’s ova dere.

Exhibit 1:

An’ Ah’ve seen enuff Morse ter know wot we’re lookin’ a’ ‘ere is conclusive as pertainin’ to vis-a-vis da confirmed iden’i’y of da offendin’ par’y to da vandalism in abundan’ evidence as iden’ified by da crime scene inven’ory of foo’prin’s and bird crap, as illus’ra’ed by

Exhibit 2:

Ah really does miss me Pocket Lawyer app… Where’s me blinkin’ iFone?!?