Much as I’ve become comfy ‘n all in me dog ‘ouse, I do miss me bearded lady, yeah. Don’t get me wrong, orrite, I ain’t complainin’ ’bout da service or nonesuch, but dere’s nuffink quite like me own Katrijn to lick me face an’ scratch me back.
Fing is, I can’t make head nor tail o’ wot she finkin’ like, I mean… wot’s a geezer to do, yeah?
She loves me
She loves me not
She loves me
She loves me not
She loves me
She loves me not
I’m losin’ da plot ‘ere…
… I give up
Time for a geezersnack!
The Bunnington Post 
Spill your beans here – you know you want to!