Yeah, so, I came ‘ome last Friday orrite, and I’m jus’ really pleased ter be back ‘n all, finkin’, all this bun needs is a nice few sprigs of grass an’ da wife.
I go into me garden, yeah, and jus’ ‘ave a looky round to see whassup ‘n all, y’know, look at me in’erests, checkin’ da state of da lawn an’ such.
Me wife comes up yeah, all suprised to see me ‘ome like, gis me da feelin’ she dunno wot to fink at first.
She comes up, geddit, gis me a coupla sniffs, whacks me around da ears doin’ da ‘where you been’ fing, an’ walks off accusin’ me ov ‘avin’ an affair cos I ‘smell funny’ and ‘that is definitely lipstick on yer fur’.
Looks like dis geezerbun ‘ere’s stuck in da ole’ dog’ouse for da foreseeable fu’ure. Nice one.