Manifesto

Now then. Since we sorted out the mess at the White House earlier this month we find ourselves with a bit more time on our hands. Good, innit? Yes, Joe and Kamala are most grateful for our crucial support, but we won’t brag about it.

And because we know we’re kind of the new buns around here, and what with our illustrious predecessor Katrijn leaving us with such a clear brief we felt it was high time we put our manifesto out there, keeping up the proud Bunnington Post tradition of opining on politics, preposterous people and lagomorph and other world affairs.

So, without further ado, and without boring you with jargon, here are the headlines of our manifesto.

Sort out the climate emergency

We did this on Sunday morning. A nice dump of snow ought to do it, but we’ll keep an eye on things just in case.

Drusilla and Obelix, two white rabbits, peek out from both sides of a shelter leaning against a wall. The shelter and ground are covered in snow and flakes are still falling. There are a few paw prints in the snow. In the background the open door shows the interior of their summer house.

Sort out conspiracy theorists

We’ll confess that we find this one quite entertaining at times. I mean, baby eating democrats in the basement of a pizza place? COVID, Bill Gates and nano-whotsits? Where do people get these ideas? Do they get out a dictionary, flick through it and point randomly at words and create some story around this politician or that event?! We have no other explanation, really.

Worrying though that people can get so suspicious of each other that they whip up all these ideas and then choose only to listen to those who echo them. Some tough nuts to crack there for sure.

Obelix the white rabbit peeks around the corner of a red cardboard box, showing on the left of the image. Behind him on the floor are a chewed up willow basked, plenty of poos and his litter tray filled with straw.

So, when we stop laughing we’ll sort them out, worry not. Personally we’re geeky buns and like to nerd around with unfashionable stuff like facts, figures and science, just to give you a flavour of what that looks like.

Sort out incompetent politicians

Truly, you didn’t think we’d shy away from poking fun of the BoJo’s of the world? Our PM is way too funny to leave alone, but sadly, his goofing around is in fact killing people right now. So once this COVID bollocks is over, we’ll crack jokes about his hair or whatever, but for now we’re sticking to the acid bath for Boris. He needs a proper good scrubbing down to strip that Eton Teflon off his skin.

Obelix and Drusilla the white rabbits sit in the evening sun in the doorway of their summer house to chew on a branch from an apple tree. Drusilla is sitting side-on at the left and Obelix reaches towards the camera on the right.

We’re good at stripping down. Leave it with us…

Sort out bad attitude

People are animals. They misbehave constantly. They create issues that need not exist. They refuse to learn. They bash each other over the head over nothing. They are crap at snorgling, sharing, bunstructing the correct way, expressing themselves with grace and loving each other.

Obelix (front) and Drusilla sit close together on top of their pink metal carry cage, which is draped with a light green blanket. They are inside their summer house and on the floor is a piece of jute fabric and on the wall a hay rack.

They say the planet is now too small for them. We say learn to appreciate your spaces and share them generously. Cuddle up together, make room. What is good about wanting more and more if it is not even edible?

Sort out exclusivists

And then there’s those who reduce the way to be to one skin colour, to one creed, to one orientation, to one nationality, to one whatever, deeming all others inferior. Who decides?! No-one gets to do that.

No-one and nothing.

For that lot we have two words: fuck you. We’ll call them out whenever we feel like it and do it whatever way pleases us.

If you don’t like it, you know where to kiss me.

Obelix the white rabbit is seen walking away from up close. his ass is prominently on display, as are the muddy black soles of his hind feet. He is inside his summer house surrounded by his red cardboard box, a chewed willow basket, his litter tray and his hay bin behind him.

We’re pretty pissy buns

Yep… enough of the niceties. Let’s get going! But if you want your saccharine fix too: we’re being cute and cuddly for your happyscrolling needs over on Instagram. Come and find us and give us a snorgle or two.

Obelix and Drusilla the white rabbits are stretching towards the camera from underneath their lean-to shelter outside their summer house. A grey plastic flower pot is in the way for Drusilla, on the left.

We’re really quite nice underneath the ‘tude!

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