Yes, my precious fans, I am home. I can now divulge that these last months have been gobbled up by a global undercover mission, hence my social media silence of late. Mustn’t blow my cover, see.
Even though I am no longer on active duty, I can’t say much about what I have been up to precisely. I can neither confirm nor deny that I have singlehandedly saved the world from an attack of rogue asteroids programmed to
crash into the world’s data centres and sub-Atlantic cables to disrupt social media communication. We all know what social unrest and street rioting would have been the result of that. You may or may not be welcome; I am not in a position to comment on appropriate levels of gratefulness and awe either. But feel free to adulate me as you wish.
Undercover assignments are always fun. As a fluffy white bunny people do not realise what they are dealing with until it is too late: I have already stricken and neutralised those baddies by the time they have finished saying Whosaprettybunny? Most satisfying.
I do miss having armed escorts whenever I need to get to HQ though. One gets used to beefy bodyguards with a penchant for cuddling. They are generally not told how dangerous I am so they are not afraid to offer a nice noserub. Just one of those lovely perks of the job!
Sometimes my cheeky side comes out and I get the guys to do a Theresa May on the way, just for the fun of it:
I tried that with my waitress once after a particularly vexing visit to the vet, but she wouldn’t do it. She insolent, that one.
Anyway – I have once more returned to being full-time fabulous and am especially enjoying this season’s cavolo nero between naps.
So there you have it, I am once more focused on training my staff, who have certainly let standards slip while I did my important mission, and commenting on the world when I can be bothered. Which, considering my superhero status, is not very often these days. After singlehandedly subduing an asteroid storm it’s all a little mundane down here on earth to be frank, but hey, mustn’t diss the old planet. She has served me well these last 11 years.
Snorgles, darlings, and properly look after your manes in these storms. Nobody likes a tangled appearance, thirst me.