Mrs May’s Magic Money Tree

Magic Money Tree yielding a penny

Dear Mrs May,

We have been shaking our Magic Money Tree as per your expert guidance. Something is not right because our 2017 yield appears to be roughly 8,200,000,000% and 150,000,000,000% lower than Her Maj’s and the DUP’s respectively:

MagicMoneyTree

What are we doing wrong? Maybe we should water it with NHS nurse sweat? Or the soot collected from an overstretched London firefighter’s brow? And what are your thoughts on compost from unsold pencils that schools can no longer afford to buy? Or should we move it to an elite greenhouse away from regular people and try some Boris Johnson Hot Air™ instead?

We know you’re the expert in all of the above, so any tips appreciated. We’d like to be in on this one and buy ourselves some ‘democratically mandated leadership’ ourselves too.

Sincerely,

Confused in Oxfordshire

 

Advertisements

Spill your beans here - you know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s