Praise be the Original Bun!

Picture of black rabbit called Expresso

Guest editor Expresso explains the role of The Original Bun in waitress training

While I and my dear friend Latte languish in bunny boarding as a result of my entire waitstaff – all two of them! at the same time! – going off on a round-the-world trip, I ponder what went wrong in their training. This led me to the Original Bun.

The Original Bun has the biggest job of us lagomorph employers. Anybun who has been an OB knows the importance of gently but firmly breaking in totally inexperienced waiters and waitresses, who are often underage when they enter our employment. Their parents are mostly limited to procurement responsibilities, a role which should be respected as it has been proven to be the source of food.

My waitress’s Original Bun was the legendary Cilla. Records do not reveal why she was called this, and we know of no hot beverage called Cilla ourselves. A speech impediment may have played a role.

a young family and their rabbit

Cilla had the daunting task of training not one, but three waitresses. The above shows the procurement officer and two waitresses, for the avoidance of any doubt. 1970s hairstyles are confusing.

From the evidence we have unearthed, Cilla was a much adored bun who had her staff trained up very quickly and efficiently. There are no reports of sticky bum due to poor diet, nor of overgrown teeth or dirty litter trays. In fact, pictures of Cilla adorn our staff quarters.

We cannot explain why our staff have disappeared on a lengthy trip, beyond that they may have done so to keep a long-ago made promise to their Original Bun to go on a pilgrimage. This seems to be the most plausible explanation.

The importance of the Original Bun can still be felt today. A well-trained waitress/waiter is a gift for life. Despite being without our usual service and adoration, we are lodging in a 5* bunny boarding hotel where we have our personal physician, daily massages, strictly enforced paparazzi hours which have truly been a blessing, and are living in our own hutch, thankfully.

We know we have Cilla to thank for all this goodness, and hereby dedicate our next carrot to her enduring memory.


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