Blue Cross Dating Service

Dear Arthur,

I read your profile on The Blue Cross Dating site. Nice box of hay you got in your picture! Looks like a pretty posh pad, The Blue Cross.

You have very nice ears. Do you perform helicoptres with them? I do like a buck who knows how to wear his ears with pride. I guess you could say I am a bit partial to lop eared handsomeness!

So, you like carrots then? Me too! Eating is my favourite passtime, really. Also tossing toys around and of course, dressing up. I also like to cuddle and grooming my darling other half.

I don’t go out very often these days – I have a bit of a paparazzi problem you see – so I am sending my waiter and waitress round with a snack. Let me know what you think. Just give them a nudge with your nose if you need to; as with all waiting staff they are rather slow-witted. Check out waiter’s nose rubbing technique (very pleasurable in my book) and the snack waitress has prepared as per my instructions. I have instructed them to be on their very best behaviour, but they are rather out of practise when it comes to being interviewed. I do hope you approve of them.

Awaiting your reply with great anticipation!

Yours,

Delores