X-ray ears

My darling Bink…

We feared he’d been arrested yesterday. He was taken away – I was not allowed to come with him, despite my vigorous protestations – and he texted me half an hour later he was being fingerprinted and about to have his ear x-rayed. His ear x-rayed?!

Then, another 45 minutes later he was back at the mansion again, and he was very tired and didn’t want his parsnip straightaway. His lawyer had got him off on the grounds of circumstantial evidence that he has had anything whatsoever to do with this phone hacking scandal. As if my Bink would need to eavesdrop on celebs’ conversations in the first place! That, dear reader, is the domain of the truly low caste of reporter. We Lagomorph reporters have too finely tuned hearing apparel bestowed upon us by Mother Nature to need to resort to techniques like that.

But I digress. Bink’s ears did get examined during his brush with jail yesterday, and his right one was found to be wanting. Science to the rescue! Our waitress is tasked with administering three different kinds of potions daily, to the obvious delight of Bink himself, who thinks nothing of being poked with needles, but has described the taste of Baytril as ‘like Haas spraying your nostrils’.

Don’t ask.