Bottae Beautician

Yesterday it was time for an emergency appointment with my Bottae Beautician for some long overdue shapely arse pampering. I’d really let myself go in the last week or two, what with our guest editors to look after, and then that traumatic refurbishment at the weekend. My poor bum section really suffered the consequences of my busy schedule!

So off I went and bumped Beyoncé and Kylie off the waiting list to subject myself to the care and attention of my tush technician.

Now, let me tell you about the latest advancements in the bum fluff battle. To restore my famed physique to its former glory my preening professional deployed a state-of-the-art tunnel designed for my comfort and enjoyment, while my rear region was being treated.

This induced a state of bliss, further enhanced by expert nose and ear rubs administered by an able assistant while treatment was in progress.

I left looking resplendent as ever, feeling distinctly relieved to be rid off that chavvy fluff and very, very relaxed to boot.

What’s not to like?

Spill your beans here - you know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.