Bigger dressing rooms, please

Ladies, I cannot tell you how excited I am at the thought of going shopping as soon as my royalties payment arrives this month! Have I got my eye on a Lanvin dress or sixteen…

Of course, I do expect my dear servants at Harrods and the like to have done something about the appallingly tight fitting rooms and rather slow sales assistants. It was quite an ordeal for a curvy lady like me to try on those little LBDs, as evidenced by the shocking footage I took on secret camera, Mary Portas-style in 2008:

Warning! Contains images some claustrophobically challenged viewers may find upsetting.