Well. What can I say? My two-day sojourn in Oxfordshire’s “hottest colonic irrigation clinic” was nowhere near as glamorous as their website suggests. Instead of the expected relaxing daily massages, aromatherapy and maybe a nice pedicure thrown in, I ended up with an IV drip in my ear in a rather basic room. I ended up having to chew through the tube myself as staff forgot to take it out when I’d had enough.
On the plus side, staff are lovely and obviously trained to offer some decent cuddles and the dandelion-and-apple salads weren’t half bad. But the syringe feeding?!
No, this lady is in no hurry to provide the place with more business. For now I will enjoy my special place in the conservatory, watching a bit of Wallander on DVD to cheer me up.