Dear Editor,
We have been following the latest developments on the terrible illness that has befallen our comrade Haas with growing concern. The news that Haas has been diagnosed with Encephalitozoon Cuniculi and a staphyloccoccus sp negative overgrowth has taken us several days to recover from.
Can we be so bold as to enquire whether Haas has enough varieties of grass to select from? We sure hope his family knows the difference between perennial ryegrass and Italian ryegrass. Personally we don’t care much for the much hyped Timothy grass, which we feel is overpriced and is not nearly as enjoyable as Kentucky Bluegrass. Does Haas have access to willow, known to aid digestion? Our choice would of course be the willow ball, most entertaining when one is somewhat bored.
We have been followers of Haas’s adventures and count ourselves amongst his admirers when it comes to his tunneling expertise and his thumping technique, which can sometimes be heard in Newbury when there’s a southerly wind. Flint has experimented with some of Haas’s pioneering engineering methods to great satisfaction. Our lawn would certainly meet with his approval these days.
We hope one day Haas will be in a position to visit to compare notes on climbing techniques, an area in which Freckles has built up considerable experience which she is very keen to share with comrades.
We would like to send our best wishes for a speedy recovery to Haas. A shipment of dandelions is in the post.
Yours,
Prof. Flint and Dr Freckles
Newbury
The Bunnington Post 