Second jobs: editorial

We’ve been asked why we allow our staff to have second jobs. Our thoughts: if it’s good enough for our Members of Parliament, it’s good enough for our servants, right?

Just kidding.

The real reason we are OK with our waiter to do some vague stuff with his gadgets and a bunch of other people is because it gives him a sense of independence and importance. Apparently it’s stuff that motivates hoomins.

It’s quite sweet to see him run out the door with his lunch box and backpack in the mornings, really. When he gets back hours later, he is so filled with guilt and remorse he loads us up with treats and spends forever dispensing noserubs. That’s when we know we got him right where we want him.

Motivated waiter = well filled bellies!

As for the waitress, it’s a more complicated story. She is a bit like a rabbit herself: if you don’t give her enough to do, she becomes destructive. Look away now, friends: she starts mowing the grass, or deadheading totally edible roses. She is a horror to behold when she has too much time on her hands. The only way to keep her in check is by letting her have a second job. And even then…

You never know where you are with someone like that. This is why we like our waiter best. At least he would never claim that faffing about with his nerdy tech is actually of any importance whatsoever. The waiter knows his place in the order of things.

Unlike the Prime Minister, the disgusting Boris Johnson who only remembers he has in fact two ears and just one mouth when his popularity rating sinks to -21.

We could have told him second jobs should only be allowed in exceptional cases, but Boris knows it all, until he doesn’t. Which is all.the.fucking.time.

What’s the difference between our staff and a British MP?

Our staff know their place.

Well. That was quite the editorial to crank out on an average Wednesday methinks.

Time for another nap.

Spill your beans here - you know you want to!

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