DYI brekkers

What is this?! Are we supposed to get it out ourselves? Like this? Gizza munch, waitress… ORRITE then!

Size 2-0

I don’t normally divulge such intimate details such as my measurements, but I am making an exception today. As you … More


There is a vicious rumour going round that I have had an earjob. I would like to go on record … More


Hmmmaaahhh… Katrijn me pe’al, is dis da life or wot…? Promise me one fink me sweet darlin’ fluffbum… Don” stick … More

Far out!

Whoa, potent stuff, dandelion beer, I’m seeing all kinds of outlandish stuff… Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…! Groovy… I’d swear a pink fluorescent bolt … More

Grassy paparazzi

Haas. HAAS! There’s a pap in the grass. Let me rephrase that: there’s a paparazzo trampling all over my breakfast. … More

Bigger inside

Very nice specimen. Nice shape. Good structure… well proportioned. Deceptively small from the outside, as they tend to be! Colour … More

Want my waiter!

Oi, waitress. Where’s da wai’er? ‘aven” seen ‘im aroun’ in days like, mereckons yer ‘idin’ ‘im som’where, rite… Eh? Wot’s … More

Saint Delores

Yes, you read it here first, I am a Saint. And I’m not even dead yet! You see, Ben is … More