Don’t call me fat

I’m big boned. To suggest otherwise is simply size-ist. And another thing, I will not be intimidated by size-ist tunnels … More

It ain’t ‘alf ‘ot

I’m getting a little fed up with all the media attention lately. I think even Haas is getting annoyed, and … More

I am certain, dear husband, that I saw a crocodile under the rosemary bush. Don’t you go telling me I … More

Jus’ ‘avin’ a bi’ o’ brekkie, orri’e?

My lovely darlin’ wife, ain’t she a looker? Yeah, check out them manes on that bun. Mefinks we shall … More

Oh, here we go. The dreaded mortgage statement… Might as well bite the bullet. Are we going to be repossessed … More

Ooh, what have we here? Looks a lot like a bank statement. Don’t like the look of that, oh no, … More