The Bunnington Post

Month: February 2012

  • Basket case

    Try basket. Jump in basket. Get stuck in basket. Chew basket. Get tipped out by waitress. Snarf

  • Sanctions

    Jump on sofa. Waitress chases me off. Shake tail. Look smart. Jump on sofa. Waitress chases me off. Binky onto floor. Wait a little. … Jump on sofa. Waitress is on to me. Hop down. Study waitress. Looks alert. Have a snooze under chair for half an hour. Try again. Jump on sofa. Waitress chases…

  • Exposed: Hay Scandal

    Appalling hay service. I like hay. I want my hay served to me where I am. On the sofa. On the door mat. Under the vegetable dispenser [the fridge – ed.]. On the antique blue chair. Under the table. On my roof. Not just in the hay rack in my home. Help myself I will.

  • Haas attempts escape

  • Haas finds his iPhone

    So, Ahm in da garden wif da wife yeah, and Ahm finking, dis is jus’ like last win’er wehn Ah lost me iFone, rite. An’ Ahm finkin’, wot if Ah woz ter fin’ mah iFone cos of da snow, cos it really bugs me rite dat Ah’ve spen’ all summer tryin’ ter fin’ i’ agin.…

  • Hard at work

    Dearest Delores, You poor thing! We wrote immediately when we read about the dreadful Lanvin disaster yesterday. How we share your plight! Doesn’t it strike you how waitresses seem increasingly helpless when it comes to doing their jobs? Ours is currently so clueless that we have started to come to the office with her just…

  • Sack the waitress!

    I have a mind to sack her once and for all. It was brought to my attention by the Black Cat that my waiting staff have neglected to look after my wardrobe as per my very clear instructions. The prosecution enters Exhibit A: Now, my waitress immediately burst into tears and confessed to all. And…

  • A day out

    Mah ‘trijn needed ter ‘ave a lickle cuollity ahtside time yeah, bein’ traumertised by da vet sayin’ she put on a whole pahnd since last July. 4.45kg he said; neva, mah K’trijn said, an’ perceeded ter fluff up ‘er mane in an effor’ ter intermidate da quack. ‘e jus’ grabbed a needle an’ perceeded ter…

  • Balmy breakfast

    Compared to our continental cousins we’re having a cosy few days here in the Oxfordshire Mountain Range. It was a positively balmy morning today, with a very mild and pleasant -10 at breakfast a 7:30am. Spring is in the air! The birds are out in force chirping their feathered little heads off, surely we’ll see…

  • -14

    Darling fans! I assure you we are quite comfortable in our mansion. Who cares that it was -14 last night? Look: Although the drinks cabinet somewhat suffered, as the waiter forgot to move the booze to a cosier spot inside… snarf As you can see, I’m quite content with my lovely spot at the window,…