The Bunnington Post

Month: January 2011

  • King of the Castle

    Mmm, I’ll miss this place when we go home. Perhaps they sell replica castles in the hotel shop? Plastic ones, easy on the maintenance bills?

  • Do I have to?

    Haas, come on, you will enjoy going on a field trip. We’ve been lying in the grass all day and lounging in the villa watching soap operas from the window all night for the last four days. Oh OK, we’ll just have a cute cuddle for the paps first. Quite how they have found out…

  • Never mind

    Castles? Pyramids?! Woteva. Mefinks a week of lyin’ abaht will do dis geezerbun a world of good. Da grass is tas’y enuff, we’re likin’ da grass. Nice view across da valley- tick. Climbin’ rack fer keepin’ fi’ – tick. Chicks on all sides – tick. Sweet.

  • Spa break

    Well, the first year of the Bunnington Post has been a real adventure and very busy indeed! UK politics and the gossip columns would have been a lot worse off without us providing the necessary perspective, of course. So we have decided that before Haas starts his new job as Director of Communications at Number…

  • Going Postal

    What’s that on your backside, Bink? Huh? Oh, that. Stamps. Thought I’d slap a stamp on my arse and go see Harry and Gozer in Michigan for a bit. Oh, nice idea. Send them my regards. Will you be back in time for dinner?

  • Wedding bells

    Haas! Haas! Pass me the iPhone, I need to book a mane appointment to go to Cousin Neville’s wedding! Look at this portrait he’s sent of him and his fiancée… Isn’t she sweet? Are you having your nails done? You can’t go to a wedding with nails like that!

  • Breakfast bafflement

    Huh? I can smell breakfast. It’s here somewhere… Lo? can you see our breakfast? Delores has her breakfast. Where’s mine?! Excuse me, waitress… Hello? Excuse me! Breakfast! Breakfast! Breakfast! What kind of service do we call that?! Michel Roux will be horrified when I tell him about this one. The days of ‘you just can’t…

  • Let the right one in

    How’d you get in there? Bink! Bink? Do you have food in there? Can I come in? I am hungry. Oh well. I was only pretending to be interested anyway.

  • Hunnibunch?!

    Haas, dear. Who were you calling hunnibunch the other day? Err, no-one, dear? Good. I thought so. … Remind me again, dearest Haas, of the owner of the shapeliest arse in this garden? Err… Yours, dear? Good. I’m glad we clarified that one.

  • 2011’s first style crime

    Delores! Delores! Delores!! Getcher shapely arse over ‘ere hunnibunch, an’ take a looky a’ dem dese clogfings ova ‘ere. Wot on urf is da waitress wearin’?! Ah mean, even Ah’ve go”a avert me eyes like, ‘n Ahm a geezabun, ‘n all… seersly criminal fashion behaviah, mefinks!